Thursday, February 21, 2008

Sometimes, you just have to ride it out

Went to the dentist yesterday. Well, down to the clinic, where the dental tech students get real-world experience by working on walk-in lab rats- I mean, real people. Anyway, I had a teeth cleaning...

OW.

What sucked was that the tech working on me was a cute little thing, and I could have cared less. Attractive young women mean nothing when you're in pain and focusing past it.

We must have priorities.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Lindsay Lohan, grasping for attention (NSFW)

I put the warning up because of the people who might be offended. You should go somewhere else for the duration of this post.
































Okay.





Lindsay Hohan was never really much of an actress (let's not even talk about that abortion of a singing career), but she was a cute redhead who wasn't exactly bad in the remake of The Parent Trap, was reasonably cute in Herbie: Fully Loaded, and was was actually pretty damn good in Mean Girls (Rock on, Tina Fey! Excellent script!).



Maybe if she'd stayed home and worked on her craft instead of hitting the bar scene and hitting the nose candy, she'd have been something. Now... not sure where she's going.


If you're familiar with New York magaazine (and many of you will be, before long), you'll get to see what has to be the last gasp for attention that reasonably-attractive actresses use to try and stay in the public eye before the black hole of the B-List (and lower) pulls them across the event horizon.





Nudity.



Heard much about the great roles Elizabeth Berkeley's gotten lately?


Anyway, here's a couple of shots that define the last legs of what might have been an interesting little career.

















































































Too bad. She was a cute little redhead.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

On fire in so many ways

So I'm looking over the boards on PPMB the other day, and comments on one thread somehow touch upon the singer Shakira (both the lyrics to her song Whenever, Wherever, and the fact that she has... an amply curvy posterior). I revisited the song on YouTube (the link's provided below), and as I watched, I recalled my feelings when I first saw it back in 2001 or 2002.

Besides that.

I've always been fascinated with bellydancing. Vestigal trait from being a fan of the James Bond films.

I recall thinking, "You know... I really don't have a problem with this."

I guess Sir Mix-A-Lot was right. (Even so, PPMB poster cyde got off a great slam in that thread. I almost cried laughing. As for the song's lyrics - I've never seen mountains, so there might still be some confusion in the matter...) I am such a simple creature, in many respects.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-3brRCRsA8


Anyway, I'm flipping through some old downloaded videos, and I came across a clip that makes me think that the events of the film Idocracy could actually happen. (WARNING! Because of language, this clip is NSFW!)



Now, at what point of this process did this Shrubya-worshipper actually think that this would all end well? I mean - really!

On a happier note, I took the points stressed in the coverage of my script and did a revised first draft. Tightened things up a lot, began the romance elements a lot earlier into the first act and cut the length by 20+ pages. (I knew that I'd have to do that anyway - 120 pages or less was DRILLED into me by my screenwriting instructor back at SIU-Carbondale!) I also cleared up the precise nature of the protagonist's employment, which the reader had a big problem with, and got rid of some of the more prose-like descriptions. (When you're not around people who do the things you do, occasionally, things slip.)

I'll let you know how things progress on that front.

Gotta love how that idiot rotates away from the blast zone, though...! I'm sorry, but this never gets old - it's like a groin shot, with pyrotechnics!

To paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson, "Stop, drop and roll, you dumb-ass motherf***er!"

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

If you can't be with the one you love...

...love the one you're with.

As Valentine's Day approaches, consider these gentle sentiments.

As this is also Abraham Lincoln's birthday... the sentiments are even more profound.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Farewell, Jeff Gregory...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se9FNdyKFtk


He was a fellow poster on PPMB. I'll let the other people post tributes and say nice things.

We both really liked Babylon 5, and he would always catch my B5 references. This clip is from the first film from the show- In The Beginning.

I would have really liked to have met him in person. Someday, though. Right now, he's busy... holding the Line.

A fine line between playful and brain-dead

I think we all know that I don't mind showing a little bit of Ye Olde Cheesecake in this here blog. (Don't worry, girls - this coming Casually Exasperating Friday (otherwise known as Valentine's Day) I WILL have something for you. (Fair's fair, after all.)

Today, however, I was casually surfing Ye Olde Net when I happened to cross-reference The Hills. For those of you fortunate enough to actually have bailed out from the zombie-infested cruise ship we know as MTV after they gave Daria the heave-ho (although if you ask me, there's a lot of actual 'ho's from the network that not only give you the dry heaves, but should have been given a heave - or a nice shove - out a wonderfully high window somewhere), The Hills is the spin-off from yet another MTV gem that renders the concept of ipecac moot in intelligent persons (Laguna Beach).

Enough said on description. Yes, there are pretty girls on the show, but to paraphrase William W. Johnstone, there are pretty girls everywhere you go. These girls, however, perpetuate the notion that you can be an attractive, petty, scandalous and vapid young woman (not to mention the guys) with the depth of an emery board and yet, be rewarded handsomely for it!

I bring this up because as I was cruising, I found an article that said that one of the girls - Heidi Montag - was going to be offered a cool million to drop trou for Playboy. I laughed.

To understand the ture depths of my mirth, go to YouTube and type in her name, or go looking around for her song. Turn down the volume so you can't hear a thing, and watch her frolic about on the beach for as long as you can stand it. Then, go back to the beginning and actually try and listen to the song.

Here's a warning, though; she makes Paris Hilton look like a possible Grammy contender.

Now, why am I dishing on her? Two reasons - the first of which is part of this page of The Superficial website:




Anyway, everybody's favorite plastic surgery role model Heidi Montag was spotted frolicking on the beach yesterday wearing a pink bikini and carrying around a red life preserver. What an accomplished life. When she's 60 and looking back on her life she'll be able to say she inspired a nation of girls to get breast implants and run on the beach. Somebody should get started on her biography now. It's such a moving story of determination and the human spirit. She makes that Rosa Parks character look like a total douche.



Damn. Anyway, there's cheesecake of somebody who actually has some measure of talent, nomatter how small, and is actually working and trying to improve themselves and their craft, (Snark as you will - Jessica Alba has some small skills... and a natural rack... and I do like her smile...) and there's spreading more images of a vapid child who's worth about half as much as a night's dinner, drinks and dancing with that hot Emperor penguin from Craft Services who always saves you a couple of extra giant blueberry muffins because she knows that you like them so much.

Sorry. Psychic bleedover from PPMB. Back on track. I'm not posting photos of her because that's all she's about - being yet the latest in a never-ending string of penny-a-dozen, here-today-gone-by-five starlets and wannabes that are the dead-on inspiration for Bowling For Soup's OUCH! that hurts because it's REAL! ditty 1985. Why the hell should I help her by posting photos of her?

Of course, there the naysayers who go, 'But - by even mentioning her, you'd giving her what she wants!'

A story from the past. Back when I was working in local TV production, I was sitting in the edit bay in the studio when Patrick (a foul little being I'll certainly talk more about some other day)walks in, wearing his gi, and stops in fromt of the door as if to announce his presence. (That's the outfit that people in the martial arts practice in. It's important - I know most of you know that already - but I had to specify that for the laughs.) See, he was teaching a martial arts class in a nearby park, and had just come in from that class, wearing his gi and carrying himself all puffed and proud, with the dirt and grass and blood stains on it - a warrior coming in from baattle, so to speak.

I took a look at him, and turned back to the editing machines.

I turned back, looked at him again, and then (I swear to God I didn't mean to do this!) I burst out laughing. I mean, REAL Laughter, the kind you get when you hear an old Robin Williams comedy skit from the '80's . The way you laugh when you hear Sam Kinison at the beginning of his short career, when you watch the GOOD Mel Brooks films (like Young Frankenstien or Blazing Saddles), or watch Richard Pryor - Live On The Sunset Strip. That kind of laughter that just comes from within your soul, when you know you should be ashamed of laughing, but damn it, it's just so funny-!

Patrick's face fell. Without a word, he walked off to the restroom, aand came back several minutes later in street clothes. He NEVER wore his gi around me again.

Moral of the story? I'm not telling you about Heidi Montag so you can go and ogle her, and drool over her, and say, 'Man, she's hot' (if that's what you're into). I'm telling you so that you may go forth and - as she attempts to make her way in ths business that we call show - you may laugh... and mock... and make fun of.

Look on the bright side, though! In between three to seven years, some righ guy with cash is going to get an excellent seat cover for his flashy car, she'll get a sugar daddy and off our collective celebrity radar and TV screen, and somewhere down the road, there'll be a couple of kids that are going to be kind of attractive because of Mom's decent genetics. Maybe not too much in the attic, but then again - that's what school is for. Along those lines - you ever get the feeling that the events of Lean On Me, and 'Crazy' Joe Cark, would have been better served if all had taken place in the school where the Laguna Beach kids attended (or should we say 'infested'?)

Oh, yes. The vapid child gets ten to twenty-five stacks per episode. Feel sorry for her. Feel tres sorry for her.

Yeah, right. Prepare to go to 105% on the snark reactor!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Just cute animals, and a little Faith...

I just like this photo.


















I also like this one. Is it just me, or was Ms. Dushku's Faith more interesting that Sarah Michelle Geller's Buffy (not that I didn't like Little Miss Likes-To-Fight), but Faith was just more interesting - especially when she and the Mayor were doing their father/daughter thing. Touching and creepy , all at once.
Also - Faith would kick the cowboy hell out of Jessica Alba's Max on the FOX Network's Dark Angel.
She looks better, too - whether in laced-up leather skankwear or in a simple little dress. (Remember the scene in BtVS, Season Three, when she had the simple little dress on, and the Mayor said that if aany of the boys in Sunnydale survived, they'd be lining up to go out with her?





Man... the Mayor knew what young men were all about.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

The Cage Match Of All Time!
















There's a phrase from Dune that my brother uses, which describes this perfectly, which translates to 'Nothing more need be said.'

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Thundersnows, the Super Bowl, and The Others...

1.) Sunday. Super Bowl. Here in Central Illinois, we had a thundersnow.

That's right - thundersnow. You know, heavy snow falling, serious bolts of lightning flashing about and lighting up the sky, and that wonderful thunder, here to rattle your brains and terrify you (if you remember the formula that tells you just how close that bolt of lightning really is to frying you).

That was weird.


2.) The Super Bowl. I had some great chicken, good beer, ranch dip and great chips - and the Patriots got bent over a crate like Marcellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction. I heard that the boys in Vegas list 2.6 million over that game. Oh well.


3.) The Others. That was a sad little show that NBC tried out in the pre-Heroes era of 2000, when they had no idea that yes, there WERE people (outside of the fanboys/fangirls) who would watch a show about a geeky Japanese guy who was so damned and absolutely glad to have superpowers, and that he'd drag his boy along for the ride! (Still my favorite moment from the show; Ando is in the 'bad guys' van when they toss Hiro in - after he came back to save Ando by giving himself up. Ando looks over at him: 'You came back for me.' Hiro: 'This is how we roll.' The idea of having friends who've got your back like that, and they aren't buff, handsome, stereotypical hero-types... nice.)


Anyway, The Others was about a group of psychics. It was sad; naturally, I have all the epsodes broadcast on tape. There was one great episode -Till Then - and a reasonably scary one - Souls on Board. SOB haad an especially good teaser... something straight out of the really good - really scary earlier seasons of The X-Files (remember the ep with the school board members that were Satan-worshippers, and a demon in the form of a female teacher showed up to break off the Devil's foot in their collective flat heinies?). It was so spooky... and I swear that, for a moment (because I had forgotten what show was on) that I was actually surprised when the theme music for The Others began, instead of The X-Files theme. The scary part? At the beginning of the credits in the first act, James Morgen and Glen Wong were listed as producers... yep - you can tell a person's work from a light-year out.


I'll have to get the artillery to transfer that stuff over to DVD, and then, onto YouTube or one of the other video sites. The better episodes were the scary ones that didn't try to go BOO, but just told a story and kept going as you got scared and felt your bladder let go. Oh, yeah - and didn't try to push the all-TOO-obvious yes-we-ALL-know-its-gonna-happen romantic triangle between the cute and naive redhaired newcomer with the seriously high but as yet uncontrollable psi-powers, the handsome and empathic (in power and attitude) blond-haired hunk of a doctor, and the slinky-hot and oh-SO-bored-with-it-all blonde clairvoyant who has to try and be 'mysterious' (she goes by the name 'Satori', but her real name's Ellen Polaski)... did we?


Message to the staff of Heroes... granted, TV is a visual medium, and most superheroes are the handsome and attractive types (sigh), but remember what the guy said in Revenge of the Nerds 'I have a message for the beautiful people - there are more of us out here than there are of you.' A few more average people, and a few more average problems, too. (What you're doing with Micah and his female cousin - keep that up. By the way - thanks for getting rid of D.l. and Niki/Jessica/whatever, and giving Sylar back his power (gotta have a great villain to have great heroes) - did decades of Spider-Man teach us nothing?

Oh, yeah - CG - sorry, dude.


Again.


Random thought for the day - as soon as it gets warmer... I'm going to take a long, long walk.


Oh, and because it's the season, the guy I was kind of hoping to make a showing in the campaings for Prez:



















Dennis Kucinich. If he could convinich Elizabeth that she loved him and wanted to marry him... this is the guy I want in the White House. His BS skills are obviously up to cosmic levels.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Requsite gratutitous Jessica Alba shot...


Why? Because someone mentioned to me that it annoyed them! As the Homeboys from the 1990's FOX show In Living Color always used to say - 'Another satisfied customer!'


Speaking of color - this is Black History Month! Oh, I used to piss the people off when they wanted me to come up with stuff, because they wanted to always do something INSPIRATATIONAL. Now, boys and girls, if there's a word that I want hounded out of the Webster's Dictionary with dogs, shotguns torches and the requsite unwashed villagers, that's the one, alone with every damned permutation of the damned word. I am SO DAMNED TIRED of hearing about that.


Look at this - Americans are money-grubbing, untrusting, mean-spirited cold-hearted, calculating bastards. Exactly. Perfect for business and the legal profession. Seriously, though, what that means is that Americans have an affinity for people who can make money. If you can make money, well, hell, they may not want you to live next door to them, but they will run their grandchildren down cheerfully to get to the board meeting whey they sign a merger that will have you working with them if you can make them heaps and gobs and planetoids full of MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!


Why am I bringing this up? There's a wonderful article that you've probably never read, called 'Legacy of Black Entrepeneurship in America Goes Largely Ignored'. Cliffs Notes Version - yes, racism has always been here in America, and no one will deny the good of the Civil Rights movement. However - something was lost in that time - a legacy of African-American business ventures that grew and flourished for several reasons... one of them now embodied in the Asian and Arabic small businessmen in this country.


That reason? 'We have to do it for ourselves, because no one is going to do it for us.'


In the idea that the government is supposed to come in and help solve many problems, have Black Americans forgotten that in the past, there were many untold men and women of color who managed - despite all the slings and arrows that a country apathetic to them (at best) could herl and overlook being hurled - to forge successful business ventures recognized by all as just that - successful? If you want to inspire someone - create wealth! As a person once told me, the path to success can be duplicated!
Along those lines, I was picking up some pain meds at the Walgreens yesterday when I got into a conversation about the upcoming elections. (Personally, I think that we're looking at McCain in 2009, unless he does a Leo McGarry before the election - but that's for another time.) Anyway, I mentioned that I was for Edwards - to me, he was the guy with the skills, and it shocked the little old lady to hear me say that. "But aren't you for Obama? Don't you find him inspiring?"
I really shocked her when I said, "No. I don't find him particularly inspiring." I found Colin Powell inspiring, because he was a guy who busted his ass moving through the military to get to one of the biggest, hardest jobs to obtain and handle without frakkin' up - and he kicked ass. I don't exactly consider a first-term senator who comes off as a cross between a rock star and a low-level preacher 'inspiring'... and trust me when I say that I have more than had my fill of inspiring preacher types. More than my fill, and more than a lifetimes' worth.
You want to inspire me? Bust ass on ONE major piece of legislation that has long-reaching remifications that will have people talking for a long while! You want to inspire me? Do that as 'a man from Illinois' or 'a man from Chicagoland' or as 'a lawyer who decided to do some good in the world instead of just making money'... not 'just as a Black man!'
It's like I would tell the jackasses who did the race thing back in college: 'Please - don't dislike me because I'm Black. Hang around. Get to know me - and I promise you that before long, you'll have reasons to despise me that have NOTHING to do with my skin color!' Obama might be the next President. He might even be a great President. Problem is, is Obama going to be a Black President, or the President - who happens to be Black? There's a difference.
Along those lines (getting back to the original subject), I remember someone telling me that Jessica Alba was a Latina. I was taken back a bit, because I thought that she was a brunette who dyed her hair for the Fantastic Four films. They said, no, she's a Latina, and I said - so what? As far as I'm concerned, she's a cute chick with a nice airframe!
After all - we have to consider what's really important.
P.S. - Watched Stargate Atlantis tonight. Emma Lahana (of Power Rangers: Dino Thunder fame) was the guest star. In her last scene, she and Joe Flanagan (who plays Colonel Shepard) were walking along a nice path, and she was wearing sone nice heels and a flowing shirt.
My, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my. Someone's really been keeping up on her roadwork, because she has spectacular legs. See, I'm a leg guy - and I do like 'em long and defined. Yeah. She's the money.