Everyone will have their ideas, but I think I can narrow it down to one thing... and to put a very fine point on it, it's the percieved chance to have sex with a very attractive woman (or man, as the case could be). We will do the most outrageous things just for the chance that, after we do this, she'll somehow end up in our bed (or wherever else it may be, just as long as enough flesh is exposed for the sex to be, well, actual sex).
It's not like that even in the movies, folks. No less a distinguished personage than Ian McKellan himself, in his role in X2: X-Men United, spoke The Truth of the Ages when he told a pudgy guard (just as the poor sap's life-force was draining away) 'Never trust a beautiful woman - especially one who's interested in you.'
Guys - listen to the man! Remember last year on Heroes, when perky, wholesome and adorably cute Eden McCain just happened to be a friend to Mohinder Suresh's dad (COME ON! 'Papa Suresh?' Mohinder, your brains are in your ASS!) and just happened to be able to wind herself into Mohinder's affairs? For the love of GOD, already, did you NOT get the picture when she appeared upon your doorstep with those big eyes, that cheerful smile and that dish of baked macaroni and cheese? Dude, she's either trying to get into your pants or into your files, and judging that you (unlike every other actively heterosexual male on the planet would have if put in your position) did NOT try to tap that ass like the Republicans would like to tap ANWAR and that she didn't even ttempt to force the issue (until later), she's obviously a SPY of some sort!
Not to mention that you're not a world-class idiot for NOT jumping into bed with her. Important tip to remember, guys: if you ever find yourself in a feature film or television program and you're faced with the same 'dilemma' - sleep with her.Let her get freaky. Let her do anything she wants to you that she feels will loosen your tongue and get you to spill your secrets to her.
She's going to kill you later, anyway. At least this way, you don't die with an eternal boner and iridescent blue balls that can be seen from orbit - and on the off chance that she's actually a good guy, no harm, no foul.
Long story short, guys - hit it if you can get it. Regret bites, long, hard and deep.
I mean, COME ON! Look at her - anyone that cute in the face and just shows up on your doorstep with a delicious baked entree has GOT to be evil!
Like I said - dumb.
Back on point, though - this is something that women (and other guys) know that they can use to control you, to manipulate you, to play you like Marilyn Manson doing a one-night-only 'grudge-fuck' concert just outside St. Peter's Basilica.
Yes, and we fall for it so, so, so many times... and it very rarely pays off. Carrot and stick, the Lottery, hoping that hot chick will give it up.
It makes us momentarily dumb. We can still do our jobs, work the chores around the house, walk and talk and chew gum at the same time... but the chance of sex makes us dumb.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
2 comments:
I'm reminded of the story of the pilgrim who told the wise man, "Wise man, I have just married a beautiful woman. However, I have heard that such women are flighty and vain and that they do not make good partners. Wise man, should I divorce this woman and find another?"
The wise man looked at his pilgrim. "What, are you mad? It would be as a man turning down a good meal because it might give him indigestion. Go back to this woman and make love to her, and pray that she does not come to her senses -- and divorce you!"
If, as Nietzsche claimed, our moral and other judgments are actually derivative of our aesthetic sense Thomas Mann put it most best: “passion paralyzes good taste.” In a like vein, someone else more verbosely said, “You try facing down a beautiful, bleeding junky who can't seem to distinguish murderous glee from mad desire. If you're not going to leave the room alive, you may as well make your last moments as wild as possible.”
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